The Need For A Consistent Sexual Ethic

I have only two options to deal with the tension of asking someone feeling gay longings to do something as difficult as pursue celibacy:

1. Give him and everyone else a pass for cross-less Christianity, what Bonhoeffer called “grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.”

2. Call everyone to bear the cross in the area of his or her sexuality.

I must force a clear choice. As Joshua told his fellow citizens: “You are not able to serve the Lord, for he is a holy and jealous God” until you “destroy the idols among you and turn your hearts to the Lord, the God of Israel” (Josh. 24:19,23). Here’s how our church is trying to do that, often with struggles and still with much to learn.


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What’s Wrong With “Relationship Vs. Religion”

Our Christian culture today is saturated with this idea, or at least with the quip, “relationship not religion.”

Unfortunately, the quip is wrong. In fact, it is so misleading it needs correction before we can start undoing much of the damage it has done. And boy has it done some damage. A large percentage of the failure of modern evangelicalism (and other parts of the church) can be blamed on the fallout of this mentality.

Here’s the bottom line, and then I’ll explain: “Religion vs. Relationship” is a false choice, and is always necessarily a false choice. By erecting this false dichotomy, people display that they understand neither what religion is nor what a relationship is. As a result, they denigrate both.


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Church As Matchmaker: It Takes A Family To Make A Family

It is not good for a man to be alone and he who finds a wife finds goodness, but it takes the beauty of a family to see the goodness far below the surface and in the crevices of these clay jars. Church, be that family, be the mothers and father, the sisters and brothers. Guide them, protect them, show them what is true and good and honorable in marriage, and then, please, help them get there.



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Attacking And Defending Courtship

Thomas Umstattd Jr. recently made a splash with his article “Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed.” To be perfectly honest, I thought a number of his points were very good, like frosted flakes in the bowl glinting in the morning light of your quiet breakfast nook. But I also thought that a number of his other points were like mushrooms that somebody stuck in there.

The way men and women get together is a grand mystery. Those who want to reduce this grand mystery to a paint-by-numbers approach, whether that safe and predictable approach is a “courtship” approach, or a clunky approach to traditional dating, are missing something important. Systems won’t solve personal problems.


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10 Scriptures For Strengthening Relationships

It seems we reserve our unkindest words, do our most thoughtless deeds, are the most mean to those who mean the most to us. And because those close to use care  more about what we say and think, those words and actions hurt more deeply. It’s a double whammy.

Because the stakes are so high, we must ensure that our communications not only stay away from the negative, but that they lead everyone to the positive. Here are ten passages of Scripture that can be very helpful in building and maintaining strong relationships.


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Why Drive-By Charity Is Toxic

When God wanted to save the world, he didn’t use a ballot measure or a give-a-thon or a shortcode or a ridiculously large styrofoam check. Instead, he sent his son, who was named Emmanuel—God with us. God didn’t give a check; He gave a person. Love incarnate moved into the neighborhood and lived next door for 33 years. And before He left the earth, He promised that eventually we will all get to move into his neighborhood and live next door to Him without ever having to move away.




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