In these situations there is outward obedience or compliance but inward resentment and hostility. There is “heart rebellion.”
If discipline is ultimately about the heart, we cannot let these situations pass by. If we fail to address a problem of the heart when we see it, we are training the child to be a Pharisee. We are training them that their outward behavior is all that matters, and we don’t care about their heart or attitude.
When you have a right action, with a wrong heart – look at these situations as great parenting opportunities. These are prime moments to go directly to matters of the heart, without the complication of disciplining outward behavior.