Since I was duly convinced that my “assurance” was the most important issue, there was this unexpected, subtle thing that happened inside me in response to heaven and my eternal assurance. It became of ultimate importance to protect the formula that leads to my 100% assurance.
I have decided to give back my assurance of salvation—or at least to give back the formula. I cannot trust myself to conceive of it in any non-self-serving manner. Maybe it is just me, but I am blinded by self-preservation.